As a mom, I struggle with many worries...
Are they eating enough fruits and veggies?
Did I brush their teeth well enough?
Are they getting enough sleep?
Is that runny nose leading to a cold?
Are they watching too much TV?
I forgot the vitamins again!
All of those, I feel like I can control a bit. I can make rules about snacks, I can brush teeth again, I can set an alarm for vitamins.
But, there are some things I worry about, that I'm afraid I won't be able to control...and it's those that keep me up at night. One thing in particular, especially with Ainsley - probably because she's a girl...
Will she be able to stand up for herself? Will she go along, even if she knows it's wrong?
I'm not very good at standing up for myself. Actually, saying I'm not very good at it is a grave understatement. I'm terrible at it. I don't. I am quiet, and shy, and always worried about people liking me or hating me. If I don't talk to a friend for awhile, I'm sure I've done something to upset them. If people are whispering, I'm sure they're talking about me. If all attention is suddenly directed my way, I find my escape as soon as possible.
I don't want that for Ainsley. I want her to feel confident and sure. I want her to stand up for herself. But how do I teach that, when I can't do it myself?
This past weekend, we spent the afternoon with some old friends. They have a little boy just a bit younger than Ainsley. He and Ainsley are kind of hot and cold. I think it's a difference in personality mostly. They were on the deck, and I'm not even sure what they were playing. I didn't hear what was said leading up to this, but as I heard Ainsley's voice rise, I turned to see this...
Ainsley on her tip toes, towering above the boy, finger waving, yelling "NO! I am not a horse! I am a kid and don't you DARE speak to me that way!" With that, she spun on her toe and walked away.
I asked her later what it was all about and she said that the boy wasn't sharing so she didn't want to play with him. Then, after explaining she said, "Oh no! I forgot to tell him I'm sorry for yelling at him! I will tell him next time."
So, maybe that's one less thing I need to worry about.