Can you die from lack of sleep? Or complete mental and physical exhaustion?
If so, then my kids are definitely trying to kill me. They look all sweet and innocent, but they have a deadly scheme up those little sleeves.
I feel the way you feel in those first few weeks with a new baby. Like you could fall asleep in the shower, tired. Shower? No, no...no shower, that would mean less sleep. So it's more like the "you could fall asleep in the elevator, riding 7 floors to your office" variety. But it's not like...it is. So yes, I'm dirty, and tired...oh, and I smell of baby pee.
So yes, it is exactly like those first few weeks with a new baby, only...I DON'T HAVE A NEW BABY!!!!! I really should be sleeping and I really should be showering and I really should not go to work in an outfit that my son possibly peed on. (In all fairness, I did not notice the pee situation until I was falling asleep at my desk this morning.) I have a 4 year old and an 18 month old, so what the hell is my issue, you ask?
MY KIDS HATE SLEEPING!!!! I thought that Freddie was going to be my good sleeper. I thought that after the battles I had with Ainsley, that the universe had sent me a sweet little dreamer. WRONG!!!!!
Freddie goes to sleep...fairly easy. Of course, I am still nursing. We'll see how that goes in a couple of weeks when I stop. But lately, he won't stay asleep. So most nights, somewhere between the hours of 12AM and 4AM, I can be found rocking him back to sleep, or standing over his crib shushing him, or pacing the floors. And he does go back to sleep, but not on his own. He used to...I was determined to not put him in my bed like I had with Ainsley. I was determined to have a child that could go to sleep on his own. He used to cry in the middle of the night and go right back to sleep...but something has shifted in the last week. I'm hoping it's just a phase, maybe a belly ache or a growth spurt...but man, I am freaking tired this week!!!
Ainsley won't go to sleep. In fact, we put her to bed at 8:30 last night and she was still awake at 11:15. I am completely at a loss on how to get her to sleep. She's still in daycare, they still nap. I don't know if that's the issue, but I'm definitely talking to daycare about it today. But then even if she goes to sleep easily, she won't stay asleep. She ends up in our bed every single night. Most nights, I don't even remember waking up to her crawling over me.
And, before any of you say it...please do not tell me to be consistent...BECAUSE I AM FREAKING CONSISTENT! Ainsley is the anti-schedule child. We do the same thing every night and never get consistent results.
Sorry for yelling, just a little cranky today.
So currently, I am roughly going on 5 years (counting Ainsley's pregnancy - because I do not sleep when I'm pregnant) of sleep deprivation. I guess I can make it another 16.5 years until Freddie goes to college...that is if I don't have any more...Or maybe the next one will sleep? Maybe? God, are you listening...please...