I hate answering the phone.
I hate answering the phone so much that very often I let it go to voice mail and call the person back. My stomach drops when the phone rings and I'm not sure who it is. Mostly this happens at work. On my cell phone, if I don't recognize the number then it's usually someone I don't need to talk to, so that doesn't bother me.
But at work, I'm supposed to answer the phone and speak to people. I mean, that's not my main job, but I am the client in my industry and people who are calling me have questions that need answered and comments that need heard and issues that need resolved. That is why I hate answering the phone. I don't like being put on the spot.
I am an email kind of gal. Send me an email and I can think about it, research it, compose my answer, read it 19 times and then give you what you need. I can't do that on the phone. On the phone I'm supposed to think on my feet, speak intelligently, banter back and forth. I am not the bantering type. I often feel like an idiot in spontaneous conversation. I'm so worried about what I'm going to say that I can't always focus on what's being said.
I rehearse conversations in my head hours before they happen. When I know I have to call someone or meet with someone, I play it all out in my head over and over again until I know exactly what I'll say. But inevitably, a question or comment arises that I was not prepared for...and then that incompetent feeling seeps into my gut.
If I had my way, I'd do everything in writing, but that's not the way of the world. So today I told myself that I would answer every single time my phone rang and just deal with it.
I made it half the day.
I'll try again tomorrow.
