Thursday, January 10, 2013

Gender Schmender

I believe there are differences between boys and girls.  I have a girl and I have a boy and I see these differences clearly.  I don't want to make them the same.  I want Ainsley to feel feminine and I want Freddie to know manhood.

However, I do my best to not push any preconceived notions of what is woman and what is man on them.  It's hard sometimes, I have been molded by society.  But Clif and I are very diligent about trying to make our children feel loved and accepted no matter what feminine and masculine means to them.

Although I see the differences, they are not steadfast.  For instance, Ainsley could spend her own world pretending to be a princess and talking to dashing princes and evil queens.  She dances and spins and leaps like a ballerina.  To truly win her heart, buy her a dress she can twirl in.  That doesn't mean she won't drop that for a moment to play trains with Freddie. 

On the flip side, Freddie knows the shape, color, and texture of every type of ball.  I never taught this to him, but he's obsessed with all things sports.  If it has a ball and some kind of instrument to hit said ball with, he is all about it.  He also can name every type of truck on the road.  He is also fascinated by ladders.  But he sure does love it when Ainsley puts makeup on him and dresses him in fairy wings.

My point is, that Clif and I sometimes catch heat from others about allowing - especially Freddie - to bend his gender.  Personally, I don't think at 2 you're bending're just 2!  But I swear that I will never let it stop me from painting his adorable little toes.  I will never let it stop me from throwing a ball with my daughter.  Because I want them to be who they were meant to be.  I don't want to say no because your friends will laugh at you, because society won't get you.  Right now, they don't care that much.  They have plenty of time to be judged for who they become, and be hurt by it.

Right now, and for as long as they will let me, I will provide a safe place for them to be.  To be a kid.  To be a princess.  To be a quarterback.  To be a firefighting, diva, jock.

To Just Be.

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