Playdates

Ainsley is very social.  She doesn't get this from me...she probably doesn't get this from Clif either.  It's not that we don't have friends, we do.  We have lots of friends, but it's very hard for either of us to meet new people.  Our friends have been our friends for a long time.  We haven't made any new ones.

Of course it's pretty easy when you're in Kindergarten and everyone is new and you're just so thrilled with everyday things.  You become more jaded and cynical as you get older.  Ainsley also thinks she is amazing.  She has so much confidence.  She can't imagine why anyone wouldn't like her.  I don't have that anymore, I'm not sure I ever had it at the level she does.

No, I think Ainsley gets her social confidence from her aunts and uncles.  My sister, Clif's brother and sister...they're so outgoing, always making new friends.

I'm glad Ainsley has this.  It's hard to be 35 and unable to make new friends.  Because none of my friends live remotely near me.  Plus we all have kids and our own lives.  And I guess that happens anyway when you have kids, but it would be a whole lot easier if I could become best buds with a neighbor.  What I don't love about Ainsley's social ease...playdates. 

I mean, I love that she has friends and wants to play with them.  My dislike of playdates is totally selfish.  I'm so uncomfortable reaching out to these moms, sitting on their sofas, offering them drinks at my house.

It took me a month to approach a mom at the bus stop who's daughter is in Ainsley's class.  And really I only did it because Ainsley cornered me into it.  It's taken me over 2 weeks to find a contact address and actually email the mom of another girl that Ainsley talks about daily.  Then I poured over the 5 line email like it was a blog post.

I just have no confidence in my ability to befriend people.  And then the thought of hanging out with this new mom while our girls run around and giggle...terrifying.

I wish I could take some lessons from Ainsley.  I wish I could walk into a room and see nothing but new friends, instead of judging eyes and smirky grins.

According to Ainsley #6 - Little Mama Bear

The sudden intake of air followed by the absence of sound is my cue that Freddie is about to scream.

I hear it and I head to the other room wondering if he's plowed head first into the wall, taken a dive off the ottoman or stepped on a wayward block with bare delicate feet.

We are visiting friends and before I can make it through the kitchen an into the next room, I hear Ainsley.

"Oh buddy, it's okay buddy.  Big sister's here."

"What happened?" I ask.

Ainsley looks up at me, fire in her eyes, "Mommy, she just...she just...she just...did this to Fweddie."  She angrily bites her own finger to show me.

I scoop up Freddie, who is screaming now and look over at the guilty party.  She's not much bigger than Freddie.  I kneel down and say "We don't bite.  Okay?  It's not nice to bite."

She's not my child and biting at this age, well it happens.  Freddie has bitten his share of daycare playmates.  I can't even see a mark on his finger.

But Ainsley is not willing to let it go.

"We don't bite!"
"You hurt my baby brofver.  We DON'T bite.  That is mean."
"He is just a baby, you could hurt him very bad."
"No biting." She's shaking her finger now.

"Okay Ainsley.  That's enough."

She glares at me and waits for me to leave the room.

In a softer voice she continues, "I don't want you hurting my baby brofver anymore.  We don't bite! Okay?"

I turn back and give her a look, but inside I'm kind of beaming with pride.  My little mama bear sure does love her little Fweddie.

I'm linking up with Rebecca over at Musings of a Manic Mama on Friday.  Go check out her site...