Birthdays

I was 12 years old.

I was in seventh grade and I had just started Jr. High.  It was not an easy transition for me.  I had become very shy and awkward.  My elementary school friends were moving on to boys and parties and make up.  I wasn't ready for any of those things.  I was still playing Barbies and house with my little sister.  I was still climbing trees and playing G.I. Joe in the woods with my brother.

I was crying that day.  I don't really remember why.  Could have been a number of things. 

Could have been because I always had trouble opening my locker and was often late to a class, or ended up just going without my books.

Could have been because most of my friends from the previous year were cheerleaders or volleyball players and popular now, and I was just still me.

Could have been because the boys sometimes called me 2x4.  It took me forever to figure out it was because I was still flat chested and was no where near puberty.

Whatever the reason, I remember walking into my afternoon math class, red-eyed and trying to hide from the world and hearing the teacher call my name.

"Jaime," she said as I made my way to the back of the room.

I walked over as she lifted the thin vase holding a single red rose from her desk and handed it to me.

"This is for you."

I smiled and took it to my desk.  I opened the small card and read...

"Happy Birthday Jaime.  I hope you have a wonderful day.  Love, Aunt Debby."

The rest of the day, everyone asked about the flower and I received more birthday wishes than ever before.  I don't remember what made that day so awful, but I remember what made it so great.

Today, I am 34 years old. 

You're How Old?!?!?

I write letters to the kids on their birthdays, so...

Dear Clif,

Today you are 35.  Oh, whoops, was I not supposed to tell anyone that?  That is a really big number.  We won't talk about how old I'll be in a couple of weeks.

Anyway, I was thinking today about the last 10 birthdays we've spent together.

 For the first one, you were turning 25 (that is such a nicer number than 35, right?) and we had only been dating for a couple of months.  I took you to dinner at Olive Garden, gave you the Top Gun DVD and the American Pie soundtrack.  That year you gave me a diamond necklace.  You always were a showoff!

A couple of years later, when you were turning 27, I surprised you with a trip to Las Vegas.  Remember the little guessing game I had you play while opening your gift?  I filled a bag with poker chips and fake money and...well, I don't even remember it all now...but I'm pretty sure you didn't guess it.  I think I had to tell you.  For most of my birthdays, you took me to expensive amazing dinners at Ruth's Chris or Morton's.

Then for your 30th birthday we had a huge party with all your friends, a frozen drink machine and skip-and-go-nakeds.  It was a blast...and the last adult party we'd have, since we found out we were pregnant 2 months later.

Birthdays are a little less spectacular these days.  It's been awhile since we were in a position financially to plan such elaborate celebrations.  But even if we had the money, Morton's and Las Vegas are not really the best spots for our young children.

 This year, I tried to get us Dave Matthews tickets - they sold out, so we couldn't go.  Ainsley overheard me talking to your mom about it.  She looked up with tears in her eyes "Mommy, why can't I come to Daddy's birthday party."  So seriously?  Could we ever not include them in our birthday festivities?

Now, birthdays usually consist of dinner out at a kid friendly restaurant, homemade desserts afterwards, and crazed sugar-high children crashing way past bed time. Singing "Happy Birthday" by only candle light is a must and the brighter the gift bags the better.  Our diamond bracelets and spontaneous trips have been replaced with hand made cards and chocolate frosting kisses.

One day, we'll take those trips again.  We'll eat those incredible steaks again.  We'll shower each other with expensive jewelry and trinkets again.  But for now, I'll take the loud dinner at a hibachi grill, a concert by naked children, and cupcakes plastered to soft baby curls.

Happy birthday babe.  I love you.

Jaime