The Baby

Dear Cohen,

This has, quite possibly, been the fastest year of my life.  I can't believe that a year ago I was staring up at operating room lights waiting to hear you cry.  I can't believe it's been a year since the doctor held you over the drape and I saw your sweet face.  I can't believe a year has passed since I held all 9 pounds of you in my arms for the first time. 

I can't believe that twelve months have come and gone and you've been in our lives.  What did we ever do without you?

You are so much more of a baby at this age than Ainsley or Freddie were.  I'm not sure what it is but I'm amazed when you do things because you're a baby. 

At 1, Ainsley and Freddie were running.  They were toddlers.  You have started walking, and you've come a long way in 3 weeks.  But you are still unsteady and still prefer to crawl half the time.  At 1, Ainsley and Freddie were both working on their first words.  You babble and point and yell and grunt, but I don't really hear any real words in there.  You say "bopba" for almost everything.  Could be bye-bye, could be baby, could be puppy.  Not sure.

You are clingy.  You love to be held.  You love snuggles and hugs and kisses.  But at the same time, you are my most independent child.  You can sit and play with toys for an hour on your own.  You follow your siblings around and play with the same toys they do.

You love attention.  You clap for yourself and look around waiting for everyone else to join in.

You love to eat.  Actually...you love to feed yourself.  I can barely get you to spoon feed any more.  You want the bowl/plate/utensil yourself.  No more mashed sweet potatoes or applesauce, you want little bits of food that you can pick up and chew yourself.

You know what you want...always.  And when you don't get it, you get mad.  You have a temper and that little head just shakes so vigorously when you are presented with something you don't want.

Since day one, you've been a momma's boy.  I really am your favorite.  But lately, you want all of daddy's attention too.  You get upset when either of us leave the room.  The minute daddy gets home you do your little body shimmy where you tighten up in excitement and then you throw your arms in the air for him to pick you up.

You LOVE Ainsley and Freddie.  Freddie cracks you up with everything he does.  Doesn't matter what it is, it's funny to you.  You have started giving Ainsley big hugs when she picks you up.

You love games and you love to be surprised.  Sometimes you pull the hand town off the stove handle and crawl around with it on your head, only to sit up, pull it down and say "Ahhhhhh!" to whomever is watching.  Then you smile and do it again.

You have such a personality and you want to be in the middle of everything.  You don't really like sitting in your highchair for meals.  You want to be at the table.  If Ainsley and Freddie are talking in the backseat, you try and talk too.  When the older kids go to the basement to play, you rush towards the door...only to be stopped by mommy or daddy.  You don't want to miss out, you want to be involved.  I believe, you think you're as big as them.

After I had Ainsley and Freddie, so many people assumed we were done having kids.  People are like that, we had one boy and one girl...perfect, no reason to add another.  Ainsley and Freddie are my cake and ice cream, but you Cohen, are my cherry on top.  That little extra sweetness that makes the dessert complete. You are everything that reminds me how blessed I am.  It's amazing how such a little guy can be the last piece that completes our family so well.

I love you CoCo, no matter how big you get, you'll always be my baby.

Happy Birthday.

Love,
Mommy

Swirling

So much I want to write about.  So many words and stories and pictures swirling in this brain of mine.  So many posts started and interrupted by phone calls and emails and dirty diapers and "mommy watch this...no mommy let me see your eyes."

Someday I'll get it all under wraps and I'll post on a weekly schedule and all will be right in the world...but for now...

My baby. 

He's seven months old today.  He sits up.  He says muma.  He says dada.  He babbles on and on.  He eats three meals a day.  He nurses a lot.  He laughs.  He screams.  He grunts.  He constantly moves his hands and feet.  He hates his crib.  He loves his toys.  He's rotten.  He's sweet.  He's the most gorgeous baby ever.  I can't believe it's already been 7 months.  I can't believe it's only been 7 months. 

He has filled this spot in my heart that I didn't know was missing, that I thought was always there until he arrived.  Then I realized how empty and broken I would be without him.

He has thrown our life into a tailspin but fits perfectly.  He was always meant to be and has always been a piece of our family, yet one year ago I didn't even know he was a he.

He has made all of our hearts smile.  He is more loved than any baby ever with a mom and a dad and a big brother and sister to dote and dance and entertain.  We all fall over each other to make him laugh.

He is absolutely not easy.  The whole, third baby - easy peasy...um no.  He is so far from easy...but he is perfect in his little dictator-like attitude.  He screams, we all jump.  He will be spoiled beyond compare.

He is our baby.

My Big Boy

Freddie and I play a game.

I grab him and cuddle him up and say "You're my baby!"

He responds with "No, my Big Boy!"

"No you're my Baby!"
"No my Big Boy!"

It goes on until he wiggles away.

He'll always be my baby.  But this weekend, as I watched him kiss and hold and snuggle a real life little baby...I couldn't help but see that big boy shining through.

I just stared at him, because in those moments he aged right before my eyes.  It hurts a little...to watch that baby grow up, but I am just so proud of that boy.  He has such a heart and such emotion. 

I grabbed him yesterday and said "You're my Big Boy!"

And he said "No my li-lul (little) Boy!"

Okay, we can compromise on that.