The Middle

I love all of my children.  However, if someone tells you they love their children equally, that's not true.  I mean, I love them all...a lot.  And I could never pick one over the other, so in that way, I do love them equally.  But each child requires a different kind of love. 

I treat them differently.  Not in a Cinderella/Evil Stepmother/Bitchy Stepsisters kind of way, but you have to treat them differently.  All children are not going to respond the same to all forms of love, discipline, praise, etc.

I know this and it makes sense.  I have three different personalities, I should treat them three different ways.  The problem is, this all causes me massive anxiety.  Though I can't love and treat them the same, I worry that one day one of them will feel slighted.

Like for instance, I suck at baby books.  But I do have baby books for Ainsley and Freddie.  I don't have one picture in them and they are about half complete, but I have them.  Do not have one for Cohen.  Then there's all the knick knacky items.  When you have your first baby, people send you a ton of stuff.  So Ainsley has framed pictures with her name engraved in them.  She has hand prints and foot molds.  Ainsley has more Christmas ornaments than I do and I have been given 1 every year since the year I was born.  I believe I counted this year and she has 8 "Baby's First Christmas" ornaments.  Freddie and Cohen have none of that.  I did an announcement for Freddie, but not Cohen or Ainsley. 

And sometimes I think about this blog and realize I have been writing a lot about Cohen, but not the others.

So the other day I decided to write about Freddie, but I got behind and never made it happen.  But last night, he gave me an awesome story.  So here is a post about the middle child, my Freddie.  Who, I only have one picture of, by himself, on my phone and it's from Christmas morning - I will say, that this is not all my fault.  He is a monster and won't let me take pictures of him these days, unless of course I'm taking Cohen's 7 month pictures then he wants in on it so he cries and then you get sad face Freddie pics with Cohen.  But those are on the real camera and I haven't downloaded the pictures yet...for another day :)

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Normally, I pick up Cohen or Ainsley first.  It depends on how quickly I leave work, how miserable traffic is, if I feel like having 10 minutes to myself in the car while I play Candy Crush.  Picking Freddie up first is nearly impossible.  He's 10 minutes from the house and I just get nervous that I won't be able to get him out of his classroom, into the car, and to the bus stop before Ainsley's bus arrives.

But yesterday was Monday.  On Monday's Ainsley gets out of school early.  My aunt picked her up and she didn't need me home right away, so I decided to pick up Freddie first.  He rarely gets one on one time, and really that is when he is at his most manageable.

I casually talk to his teacher, walk him to the car, and strap him in.  No rush today.  We can chit chat while we drive to Cohen's daycare.

Freddie: Mommy, did you stay home today?
Me: Nope, I went to work.
Freddie: Ohhhhhh, I want you to stay home.
Me: What would I do at home all day while you're at school (am I kidding!!! what couldn't I do at home all day while my kids are in school?!?!?!?)
Freddie: Ummmm, I'm sinking (thinking).  You could watch a kid show.
Me: Well, I only watch kid shows with you and I have to go to work.
Freddie: But Westin's mom stays home.  Pease can you stay home.
Me: I can't Freddie, I have to work so we can pay for our house and cars and food and toys.
Freddie: But Westin's mom stays home, I want you to stay home.

He holds his hands together begging.

Freddie: Pease, pease, can you stay home.
Me: I can't Freddie, I have to go to work.  Anyway, if you're in school, you won't even see me.
Freddie: No, sometimes I will stay home with you.
Me: Oh, well, sometimes we do stay home together, just not every day.
Freddie: But I want you to stay home every day.
Me: How would I get money for food and toys and stuff?
Freddie: Hmmm (he folds his arms across his chest and thinks some more), I KNOW!!!!!
Me: Yeah? (please give me an awesome idea for earning money while sitting my lazy rear on the couch all day)
Freddie: I will aks one of you friends to work for you.
Me: Oh one of my friends will work for me?  Who would do that?
Freddie: You know, one of you friends at work. Dey will work for you.
Me: But how would I get the money?
Freddie: Mommy!  I jut told you, I will aks one of you friends to work FOR you.
Me: And then they'll give me the money?
Freddie: Yes.
Me: Wow, I have some nice friends.  I don't think that will work buddy.  Plus, wouldn't you be sad not to see Miss Tiffany or your friends anymore.
Freddie:  Weill, dey will miss me.  Miss Tiffany will miss me so much.  But I will see them on Fridays.
Me: So you'll go to school on Fridays.
Freddie: No, I will stay home and watch kid shows with you, but you will take me to school on Fridays for cookie day and then I will say hi.

That's my Freddie, always has a plan for goodies and TV!

Swirling

So much I want to write about.  So many words and stories and pictures swirling in this brain of mine.  So many posts started and interrupted by phone calls and emails and dirty diapers and "mommy watch this...no mommy let me see your eyes."

Someday I'll get it all under wraps and I'll post on a weekly schedule and all will be right in the world...but for now...

My baby. 

He's seven months old today.  He sits up.  He says muma.  He says dada.  He babbles on and on.  He eats three meals a day.  He nurses a lot.  He laughs.  He screams.  He grunts.  He constantly moves his hands and feet.  He hates his crib.  He loves his toys.  He's rotten.  He's sweet.  He's the most gorgeous baby ever.  I can't believe it's already been 7 months.  I can't believe it's only been 7 months. 

He has filled this spot in my heart that I didn't know was missing, that I thought was always there until he arrived.  Then I realized how empty and broken I would be without him.

He has thrown our life into a tailspin but fits perfectly.  He was always meant to be and has always been a piece of our family, yet one year ago I didn't even know he was a he.

He has made all of our hearts smile.  He is more loved than any baby ever with a mom and a dad and a big brother and sister to dote and dance and entertain.  We all fall over each other to make him laugh.

He is absolutely not easy.  The whole, third baby - easy peasy...um no.  He is so far from easy...but he is perfect in his little dictator-like attitude.  He screams, we all jump.  He will be spoiled beyond compare.

He is our baby.