Wednesday, February 25, 2015

$h!tt% Story About My $h!tt% Neighbor

I have to write this down and put it out there.  It's seriously just driving me crazy.  So I'm sorry for the $h!tt% post, I'll be back to my normal, sunshiny self in no time.

So we live in a town house.  A very small town house that has basically no yard.  There is about 3 feet of grass between our steps and the sidewalk, so I guess that is something.

There are lots of dogs in our neighborhood.  There are rules about cleaning up after your dog and in our almost 3 years we have not had much issue with it.  That is until about 4 months ago.  Now, I come home everyday to a new pile of dog $h!t in my tiny little yard.  And it's little dog $h!t.  So I know it's got to be a dog in the small to medium range.

My kids step in it.  My kids ride their bikes through it.  It's disgusting and it has made me hate every neighbor with a certain sized dog.

Also, there is always dog $h!t on the sidewalks.  Like right in the middle of the freaking sidewalk, not off to the side where maybe the dog $h!t and walked, but just squat down right there in every one's freaking way.

We have our suspicions to who the culprits are.

#1 - There is woman who moved in with her son and his family last fall.  She walks her small dog back and forth in front of our town house row about 781 times a day.

#2 - A couple moved in late last fall and have a terrier sized dog and a huge dog.

Clif and I have witnessed both of these suspects not clean up their dog's $h!t.  Not necessarily in our yard, but around.

So yesterday I arrived at home about 20 minutes before the bus was set to arrive, so I ran in the house and did some laundry and had a snack.  While I was in the kitchen my dogs started getting all bajiggity, which they do all the time because other dogs are walking just 3-4 feet from them, on the sidewalk.

As I was telling them to calm down I noticed a movement out the window, so I peeked through the blinds.  The old woman was there with her little dog and the dog was $h!tt!n& on my sidewalk.  The sidewalk that leads to my stairs.  So I watched.

The dog finished.  The woman reached down and grabbed a handful of snow.  She then proceeded to wipe the dog $h!t off of my sidewalk into my yard with the snow in her bare hand.  So I opened the door.

Now, let me say that I think this lady may be crazy.  She mumbles and talks to herself or her dog or someone the entire time she's walking him.  And she will never acknowledge me when I say hello.  Also, she doesn't walk great, so I kind of gave her a pass.  Thought maybe she couldn't bend over very well.  But there she was bending over to wipe the $h!t off my sidewalk!

So again...I opened the door and she looked right at me and there was that moment of realization.  The "Oh $h!t, I've been caught" moment.

I said "Hi."

She said "It's so cold, don't think it will ever warm up." AND WALKED AWAY!!!

Walked away to the end of the sidewalk where she BENT OVER and picked up more snow to clean of her $h!t covered hand.

I was BOILING.  So mad that I couldn't contain myself, so I knew I had to walk away or I was going to be screaming in this old woman's face.

I thought about it all afternoon.  So mad at myself for not saying anything.  Just letting her walk away.  My only hope is now she knows that I know.  Maybe it will change her behavior, but seriously who does this $h!t in the first place?  Probably won't change a thing.

I came home last night from walking my dogs and picking up their $h!t, with a bag, not my a normal human and I saw it.  Those two little pieces of dog $h!t, right there next to my sidewalk with the dog $h!t smear on it.  It was just mocking me.  So I did what any grown adult would do.  I picked it up with my shovel and deposited it in the old woman's yard.

I'm mature and $h!t like that.
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