Beware the Bubbles

It's so sweet and innocent looking.

It floats lazily, charting it's own course.

Too delicate to touch.

Too fleeting to capture.

It brings joy and amazement to children.

But...

do not be fooled.

There's a dark side to the bubble.

Ainsley dove into the corner of the deck table while chasing the bubbles.  It was a bit scary and I thought an ER visit might be in our very near future, but it looked worse than it was.  She's doing fine...just a nasty gash.

The Decisions We Make

I often think about the decisions I make.  I wonder about little every day decisions that change our lives.  I won't lie, normally I think about these things when something bad happens rather than something good.  For example, I got into a fender bender about 6 years ago. I was working as a bank teller and I had stayed 10 minutes late to help clear out a line in the lobby.  I left and rear-ended a super sweet elderly couple 20 minutes later.  As I sat in my car, I thought...

If I had left on time, would this have happened?
Would I have hit someone else?  
Would it have been worse?
Would I be home by now, accident free?
Would these people have been hit by someone else?


Just random questions as to how the universe connects us all.

The other night, I had a similar experience.  A series of tiny, unimportant decisions that led me to these universe examining questions.

First decision: I gave the kids a bath, a day late.  They were due for a bath Sunday night, but it didn't happen for whatever reason and when I thought of it, I decided to wait until Monday night.

Second decision: The water got cold fast, so I decided to add warmer water which made the water deeper than normal.

Third decision: I didn't pick out towels before the kids got in.  I decided that since the linen closet at my in law's house is right next to the tub I could grab them when I needed them.

It's the third decision that sticks in my mind most.  The smallest decision.  The seemingly most insignificant decision.

I had washed their blond hair and their tiny toes and their chubby bellies.  I was ready to take Freddie out, so I turned to the linen closet.  My eyes were off of them for maybe 2 seconds while I reached for the towels.  When I turned back, Freddie was under water.  There was no splash, no crying, no warning.

In that moment, I just grabbed him and pulled him to me.  Hugging him close as he screamed in fear.  It wasn't until then that the scene started playing out before my eyes: his arms and legs thrashing about, but too short in the deeper water to break the surface and cause a splash; his mouth and eyes wide open crying for me, but my head was turned to the closet; his small body rolling under the rippling water trying to find stability.

It wasn't until I had pulled him out and my heart started to calm that the thoughts of 'what if' started playing through my mind.  Those thoughts that belong in places that we don't allow our minds to go.  Those thoughts that make us realize how fragile the universe is, how quickly everything can go bad, how one little decision can change our lives forever.

WANTED!

Please note that the following suspects are armed and deadly.  Do not try and apprehend them on your own.  Call for professional help.

Parent Enemy #1: Brinkley - the repeat offender

He seems so cute and harmless. Look at that puppy face, but do not get pulled in.  Do not let his cuteness break down your defenses.

This suspect has been known to hold his poo during walks only to leave it on the foyer carpet.  He has been known to chew chair legs, stuffed animals and newspaper.  His most recent chewing endeavor...the brand new mud room rug.

However, by far his most daring and unfathomable action...peeing on the den carpet.  Normally, this would be merely an annoying clean up, but what makes you want to kill him is the timing.  Not only had he just come from outside, but the carpets were LITERALLY cleaned within 24 hours of the episode.

Be afraid, be very afraid and do not leave him in a room alone.

Parent Enemy #2: Ainsley - the mind eFer

Also cute, but so, so cunning and intelligent.  So intelligent that you'd think there's no way she'd have potty accidents.  Oh but you'd be wrong.

Since attending a new school, Ainsley appears to have a potty accident every single day.  This is evident in the fact that she is in different pants every night when her mother arrives to pick her up.

When asked Ainsley, why do you have different pants on?

Her answer: Ummm, I just have an accident and pee in my underpants.

Most recently she pulled an unbelievable stunt.  While her mother put her baby brother to sleep, Ainsley was tasked with going potty on her own.  This is something she's done on her own many times before.  Upon returning to the room, her pajama pants were removed and her underpants had been changed.

Ummm, mommy?  I just changed my underpants, cause I just peed in my pants.

Ainsley?  Why did you pee in your pants?

BEcause mommy, I just peed in my pants.

But why did you pee in  your pants.

(Large, heavy sigh) I just peed in my pants so I need new underpants, but it fine mommy.  I got underpants out my dresser and I have new princess underpants now.

(Large, heavy sigh from mommy) Okay, well where did you pee?  Did it get on the floor.

(Nodding) I pee in the bafroom, I kweened it up.

Show me...

She leads her mother into the bathroom and points to the small area between the toilet and the bathroom matt.

A bit baffled, her mother asks So you came into the bathroom, stood next to the potty and peed on the floor?  Just stood right in this spot and peed?

Yes.

Why would you do that?

(Large, heavy sighs) I tell you mommy, because I pee in my underpants!

Please note that this suspect is extremely skilled in the art of mind games, confusion and psychological warfare.

Parent Enemy #3: Gatsby - the Keyser Söze

Just when you thought that your oldest dog, your first baby, was the only being in the household that couldn't disappoint you.  You thought that he would never fail you, never disobey you, that he would always do as he was told...or really just that he's always good...BAM, you would be knocked on your rear with reality.

Though he doesn't have as many offenses as the other suspects, his one episode makes up for his lack of regularity.

Imagine entering a dimly lit room, Brinkley asleep on the floor, Ainsley asleep on the bed and Gatsby at full attention.

What's wrong buddy?

He's skittish too, his nerves are not the best.  Immediately you are aware that he's probably done something wrong.  Then you sit on the bed only to feel a slight wetness on your leg.  Turning around, you realize too late that there is a massive puddle of urine in the middle of the comforter, pooled in one of the valley's created by Ainsley's legs.

Yes, that is his MO.  Wait until no one's looking and then attack with all your might and glory and hope that they blame Brinkley!  Because really, do I have proof it was him?  No, I don't. 

Please note, there is also some suspicion that many of the chewing instances have been at least aided, if not lead by Gatsby.

Parent Enemy #4: Freddie - the up and comer

He's only 10 months old, so he really can't be blamed for peeing and pooping all over the place.  That's what he wants you to think.  He wants you to think "Oh he's so cute and innocent.  He can do no wrong."  But believe me, he has an agenda.

He's currently planning his big heist, just waiting for his moment.

Really though, because of the cloth diapers, poop and pee are just a part of everyday life. Plus, we couldn't leave him out because he's sure to produce just as much chaos in the next couple of years as his older sister and dogs.

So if you wonder why I'm not always on the ball, not quite at the top of my game, not extremely with it...remember that I'm up to my eyeballs in poop and pee and I am totally plotting my revenge.