About Kindergarten...and Summer...and Graduation...

We had this huge, momentous thing happen recently, and I didn't write about it.  I honestly don't know how I ever found the time to stay on top of this blog.  It's just not possible these days.

But the huge, momentous thing...

This guy started Kindergarten.

Here he is just a few months ago graduating from Pre K.  I didn't post anything then either.  The middle child really does get shafted.

When Ainsley was a year old, we took her to the beach for the first time.  I posted a ton of pictures and broke the post into two parts - I used to have so much time, not sure where it all went.  We also went to the beach this summer.

And Hershey Park.

Visited Philly for a day.

And we celebrated birthdays.

We got hair cuts.

Spent time with cousins.

And Grandmas.

And Papas.

We dressed as super heroes.

We played.

Ate lots of ice cream.

And apparently, lobster - but not lots of it.

I love summer.  And suddenly, here we are at the beginning of Autumn (officially).

But I'm getting away from the point of this post.

Freddie.  Our sweet little Freddie started Kindergarten and he is such a rock star.  He was very nervous.  He missed his old classmates.  He didn't want to go.  But he is doing so awesome.  He comes home with new stories and new knowledge every day.

After the first day he got off the bus very excited, but soon explained that he didn't want to go back because of fire drills.  Freddie does not like smoke alarms, or any loud, sudden noise.  There would be a drill later in the week and could he stay home?

He talked about it a lot that first week, so much so that I felt the need to warn his teacher.  Told her about is fear of loud beeps and buzzes.  Told her, he'd be fine, but he might cry.  Might lose his shizz for awhile.  Be prepared.

The fire drill came, and went and when I asked Freddie about it, he shrugged and said "I'm not afraid of that, I'm a big kid now."

Yeppo, I guess you are.

Happy first year of school buddy.  You are so bright and insightful and sensitive. I just know you're going to blow that whole school away with your sweet little smile and thoughtful questions.  They're never going to know what hit them after they meet my Fredders.

The Kindergartner

Look what we got last night...

This girl makes me smile every time I see her.  This picture has me giddy.

She looks so grown up and so beautiful.  I can't believe I'm mom to a Kindergartner.

She's loving it by the way.  Every night she comes home and sits at her table and writes letters, draws pictures, colors.  She tells us about her friends and lunch time and recess.  She's decided she wants to be a doctor or a teacher.  I told her she should do both.

Because this girl is going to go far and do big things...I just know it.

Kindergarten Eve

Ainsley,

I'm going to try not and cry as I write this.  But I guess it would be better to do it now instead of at the bus stop tomorrow morning.

Tonight feels different than most weekends coming to an end.  Tomorrow you take a huge step in life.  You start Kindergarten and you are so thrilled.  I am so excited for you.

But...

I'm petrified.  So afraid of something hurting you or scaring you...I just want to hop on that bus with you to make sure you have a seat.  Then I want to follow you to your classroom to make sure you don't get lost.  I want to sit in the room all day to be sure you're heard when you need to be.

It's really hard to let you go.  I know you're not going to college or moving across the country, but this is a big let go for me.  I've always been the one in control.  Sure, you've gone to daycare but it's different.  I don't get to drop you off in your room and chat with your teacher and call to check on you.  I have to just trust that it will all be taken care of.  I have to trust people I don't even know to make sure you're okay.

Are you ready?  Have I taught you what you need?  Have I prepared you?  Do you know enough about strangers?  Do you understand that other kids can be cruel?  Have I showed you how to be kind and brave?  Do you know that no matter what, we will always love you?  From the depths of our hearts.  You can always turn home for comfort and answers and support.

I feel like there's so much we haven't covered and now here we are on the eve of Kindergarten and I'm speechless.  All I can do is smile at you and kiss your forehead, afraid that the tears will spill if I utter a word.

My head knows this is what's best for you right now, but my heart is aching.  Tomorrow I'll wave goodbye to a little girl riding on a school bus,  but all I'll see is that perfect, sweet bundle they handed me five years ago.

I love you Ainsley.  You're going to rock the socks off of that Kindergarten class.

Love,
Mommy

Wonderful You

Dear Ainsley,

Yesterday started as a day like any other.  You woke up and got yourself dressed.  We brushed your teeth and then headed to daycare.  I dropped you off and continued on to work to answer emails and sit in meetings and do all the boring things that grown ups do at work.

Around noon, I put aside all my work stuff and pulled out the Kindergarten registration packet that came in the mail 2 weeks ago.  I hadn't even opened it yet. 

I filled in your name and birthday.  Checked off the boxes for female and Caucasian.  Then I stacked it all up and put it back in the envelope.  Except for one card.  One card that asked me to check words off that described you.  They were typical personality descriptions...

Outgoing
Shy
Artistic
Thoughtful
Leader
Follower
Loud
Quiet

All of them describe you, but none of them do.

Below the list were three lines that said "Please tell us anything else we need to know about your child."

Three lines?  How can I tell them "anything else" in three lines?

How do I explain your unending curiosity?  Your need to question everything until you understand it and then question it some more.  How your questions actually make me think and wonder "why?"

How do I convey your love for all that is princess and fairy and magic?  That you can listen to the same stories about Rapunzel and Belle and Ariel until I am exhausted but you just want to hear them again and again.  And you want to know every detail of every moment surrounding those stories.

How do I possibly describe your imagination?  Your ideas that I can see forming behind your eyes.  Your quiet moments that are suddenly interrupted with "Hey mommy, I have an excellent idea!!!!"  Or how you can just be in your own world.  A world that is so real and tangible to you that pulling you from it is nearly impossible.

How do I show them your heart?  A heart in a tiny little body that is big enough to love the whole world.  A heart that is vast enough to become friends with all you meet.  A heart that wraps you up and makes you fall in love every single day.

How do I portray a smile that lights up my day or a laugh that infects the room?

How do I do all that and more in three lines?  How do I get them ready for you? Not the little girl down the street or the boy next door, but you...just wonderful you? 

I thought I should put a check mark next to each word and then write "Ainsley is the most incredible, smart, amazing, beautiful child you will ever have the privilege to know."  But I thought that might be overdoing it.

So I checked a few boxes and left the lines blank.  They'll just have to see for themselves.

Love,
Mommy